For those of us who have been around the church for a long time, we remember being taught backward repentance. We were taught that if you DO the right thing, then your heart will follow. From what we are learning now (from Ed Anton’s book Repentance: A Cosmic Shift of Mind and Heart, and the excellent preaching from Tom and John, which anyone can listen to by clicking on the Sermons tab on the home page), we are understanding that we’ve had it somewhat backwards for many years. We see now that God seeks a heart change, not just an action change. We learned that we can do all the right things (like Pharisees) and yet not have a heart for God. David, who was called a “man after God’s own heart”, was certainly not sinless – but he had the heart that God was looking for. David sought intimacy and friendship with God – not just “putting in his time” in prayer, or following rules to meet the minimum requirements of the law. None of the great prophets were sinless, but they had a heart that God loved and wanted. They sacrificed their livelihoods, comforts, and worldly relationships to be close with God and do his will. They had heart, not just actions.
Now, if my heart doesn’t change, does that mean I don’t have to obey? No, certainly not. There are certainly many instances in the bible where people didn’t have a great heart, but they still obeyed. But we learned an incomplete repentance – one of mostly action, not of heart. Now we are learning completely. What does this mean? Think about when you were baptized! You wanted to stay out of sin. You had a heart so pliable, you were like a child. Anything that you saw in the bible, you believed it without question and applied it to your life. You saw clearly what your sin put Jesus through, and that was always before your eyes. You craved change, because you didn’t want to hurt your Father in Heaven or your relationship with Him. That is the heart of repentance.
For those of us taught incompletely, we have options. We can blame others for our lack of closeness with God. Or, we can grasp that we have had the same bible that everyone else has had, and realize that we can now open it up and find our own interpretation of repentance, instead of swallowing what we are told. We have great books like Ed Anton’s, that can help us to reform our views, and take a fresh look at the relationship that God really wants with us. We have the opportunity to learn anew God’s will for our lives. Like Bill Kunes said this past Sunday, it’s important to accept that our understanding of God may not be complete. We put limits on a limitless God, and our understanding may be very flawed. We can each consider that we may not be able to figure God out – and that’s ok. Maybe we’re not supposed to.
“Dear God, please help me to understand what you truly mean by repentance. Help me to throw out any wrong teachings I’ve accepted and to start anew with each scripture I read. Please be with me if I struggle with resentment for being taught incompletely. Who is perfect? Certainly not me, so who am I to judge others who were trying to help me? Help me interpret for myself, from the very words of the bible and my own study, what true repentance means – how it comes about – and who gives it. Thank you for repentance – that I can have a new heart, that my actions don’t have to come from just “doing” because I should, but from an appreciation of your grace and mercy. Please mold my heart into the shape of love, as you know it, not how I know it. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Feel free to e-mail Michelle your thoughts at mdiekmeyer@fuse.net